Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Ask Erik: Episode Twenty-Five

Here at Ask Erik, we've spent a lot of time reading books and comics, watching movies, and browsing through the Internet in the hopes of finding the answers to life's biggest mysteries. How can the nation of Tajikistan survive when only five percent of the population has safe water?  When exactly did the shift in video games change from overactive imagination and "anything goes" plot lines to gritty realism with a higher body count than typhoid?  Why can't they invent a foolproof way to put grout around a shower?

Having instead amassed a vault of useless knowledge stored in his head, Erik instead tackles your questions and tries to find the answers you care about (or a reasonable facsimile).  Or, if you don't care, he'll at least try to make you laugh and forget you just wasted time you could spend doing anything else.




To Erik: Given both of their tendencies to beat on Nazis do you know if they've ever done a Captain America/Indiana Jones crossover?  That seems like a natural fit to me.

I can see a lot of the appeal, really.  Both men hate Nazis.  Both men have what can only be referred to as "interesting" experiences with either major religious forces or alien technology.  Both traveled around with a kid sidekick for a while.  Both have links to actor Brendan Kelly, thus connecting them in less than six degrees.

However, that seems to be the only connection the two have, as the closest I can find showing the two have even a remote connection is an issue of Captain America where he and a date go see Raiders of the Lost Ark, and one issue of the Uncanny X-Men where Captain America teams up with a guy in a leather coat and fedora, but he likely would never carry a whip.


To be fair, though, Indy doesn't really do "crossovers."  There are a few fun things, like the fact that in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen it appears that Shia's main character in that is about to attend the school Indy used to teach at, as evidenced by the Marcus Brody statue shown in the fourth Indiana Jones film.

One of the most infamous (and honestly depressing) crossovers was that time he showed up in a Star Wars comic book.  See, the Millennium Falcon is being chased by Imperials, and Han Solo and Chewbacca have to do a jump with a faulty hyperdrive.  They wind up at an unfamiliar planet where they apparently land in the Pacific Northwest.  That's right, it's Earth.

Soon afterwards, Han Solo is killed by the local Native American tribe.

No, seriously.


Chewbacca takes his friend back to the Millenium Falcon where he can die in peace, and scares off all the tribes because, well, he's a giant furry monster.

Then we jump ahead 126 years as three people make their way through the woods looking for the strange "creature" rumored to exist there.  You know the stories, large hairy dude lumbering around the woods, leaves big footprints everywhere.

You know, the Jersey Devil.

Anyway, they discover the Millenium Falcon, and the lead person marvels at what's inside, saying he has never seen anything like it, "even in Atlantis."

If this is a shout-out to the superb Lucasarts video game Indiana Jones And The Fate Of Atlantis, then the writer gets bonus points.

Anyway, this is how it ends.

Yeah, Chewbacca spent one hundred and twenty-six years doing nothing but stomping around, scaring natives, and hanging out with the decaying corpse of his best friend.

There was one other sort-of crossover event between the two which they did at at least one Disney theme park, Raiders of the Lost Jedi Temple of Doom.  It's rather surreal.

Now, with Disney owning Lucasarts and Marvel, I don't think it'd be impossible to get a team-up between Indy and Captain America, especially if Patton Oswalt gets his way.

Though, it makes you wonder who exactly the villain would be.  The Red Skull... I'm pretty sure they're going to want to stay away from anything involving skulls for a while.  Perhaps Baron Blood, because vampires are still "in" right now.

Of course, I'm going to hold out hope for a Marvel/Labyrinth crossover, if just to see Sir Didymus riding a thrown Mjolnir into battle.

"Loki, I would have words with thee!"
Seriously, Marvel, call me.  I'll write this crossover for you, and my rates are ridiculously low.

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