Monday, February 24, 2014

Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego Part Three

Several weeks after my look at the first episode, we're finally back on track with our look at the first batch of episodes from Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?

Let's just jump right in.



Last time, Carmen managed to abscond with only parts of some of the most famous paintings of all time before Zack and Ivy were able to recover them.  This time, Carmen Sandiego has a slightly larger target in mind.


No, seriously.  She even manages to pull it off.  As the police surround her, the ground begins to rumble and then every block of Stonehenge sinks into the ground and is gone, with Carmen riding one of the blocks into the Earth.

Needless to say, this doesn't go over well with Captain Inspector Colonel Sanders.


I just also want to point out that Carmen Sandiego lead the police there.  She had the technology in place to let her steal Stonehenge, but she wanted to let people know she was the one responsible for stealing it.  It's quite possibly the most baller thing I've ever seen.

Oh, and then she taunts the player at the computer playing the game.  It's pretty great.

We cut to San Francisco where apparently Zack and Ivy live (and we get a few shots of some of the famous sights, such as the Golden Gate Bridge, the Trans-America tower, a cable car), before the Chief contacts them saying the Player wants them on the case.  Oh, and as a running joke through the episode, Ivy is sad because her horoscope states "whatever can go wrong will go wrong."

The two arrive in England, and either Carmen Sandiego has spy drones in the area or she just has really great timing, because with only two ACME detectives there, a large metal pole erupts from the ground and opens up at the top to present the two with a "clue in a box" toy.

I find it puzzling that nobody dug a giant pit where Stonehenge used to be to try to find out what happened.  Maybe they just figured "well, if she stole it, looking where it used to be is pointless because we know it won't be there."  As opposed to, I don't know, learning how she stole it or maybe tracked where the stones were moved to since there must be a tunnel down there somewhere...

Anyway, the box presents the two with a Mayan statuette, and of course if you need someone to help with Mayan runes, there's only one person to call on.

Kwame, from Captain Planet.


Except now his name is "Amati" but all I can hear is "Ma-Ti" since he was...I dunno, from somewhere in South America.  Just like how all Africans look like Kwame, all North Americans look like Wheeler, and all Asians look like either Gi or Linka.

Amati puts them on track to the correct spot in the Yucatan, but also gives them a history lesson of Stonehenge and the Mayan calendar.  The two enter into one of the large Mayan temples, completely unaware that a snarling jaguar is following them.

Also waiting is one of Carmen's goons and one of her primary henchmen named "Fortune Hunter."  However, a bearded, safari get-up wearing, rotund henchman isn't a match for two teenagers, and they are quickly able to catch him even while trapping the jaguar in a pit.

They're immediately alerted that Carmen also stole the Arecibo Telescope from Puerto Rico, (an object that covers 118 acres of land) and the one connection that all three locations have is that each is connected to either being visited by aliens or searching for aliens.

That's right, Carmen Sandiego wants to steal outer space.

Or maybe she has a henchman with the codename "Many Bothans" and she's going to steal the Death Star plans.

Using only the clue that Carmen Sandiego was going to a "Pacific island" and searching for links to aliens, the two detectives figure their best first stop is Easter Island because, hey, who doesn't want to see a giant stone head?

Once again, however, they're too late as Carmen steals one of the giant heads with a two-balloon blimp.  Zack and Ivy have their own troubles, as their transport dumped them into the sea and a shark is swimming up to consume the two young detectives.

This is where things get pretty sweet, as Carmen Sandiego passes by overhead, she has her blimp shoot down an emergency life raft to the two detectives for them to climb onto, thus saving their lives.  That's the thing about Carmen, it's never personal, and she enjoys the chase as much as anything else.

On the island, Zack and Ivy seem to be out of clues, but between an interview of a security guard in Puerto Rico giving them a whistled rendition of "Waltzing Matilda" and the fact that only a few areas would be perfectly located for the telescope to be of any use, the two figure out that Carmen must be headed to Ayers Rock, Australia.

Hey, it's just as believable a conclusion as anything you see on crime dramas on television.

At Ayers Rock, Zack and Ivy attempt to corner Carmen on top of the telescope, but a stray lightning bolt takes out part of the rope bridge and Ivy is barely able to grab Zack before he falls.  I love Carmen's reaction here, because she's at first shocked that the two of them found her, and then she's just amused and tells Ivy, "looks like you already have your hands full, and I've already saved you both once today."

I can't tell if that's a brilliant insult or not, since it could be taken as "sheesh, you two, do I have to capture myself if it's ever going to happen?"

Zack and Ivy do manage to corner Carmen, but right before they can grab her, there's a bright light in the sky, a rushing sound of wind, and Carmen vanishes.  No, it's sadly not first contact (or second or third depending on how you look at history) with alien life, it's just one of her helicopters swinging by to pick Carmen up.

However, Carmen and Zack did manage to get back some rather priceless treasures...but what's never discussed is how Carmen stole Stonehenge or a giant telescope to begin with.

Sadly, we'll never know.  Probably because someone would try to reproduce the crimes just to rob a convenience store.

Oh, and apparently I was right, because at the end Carmen and the Player get into another sparring match, and Carmen taunts that if she ever does find alien life, "not even the stars will be safe from me."

I look forward to the eventual episode where she steals the moon.

I'm sure she'll store it somewhere like Siberia.  Nobody'll notice it there.



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